September 11, 2001

What the Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:


"... a cutthroat look at current issues... The writing is clever and worth checking out."
               --NBCi 


"Political Site of the Day!"
               --Aboutpolitics.com


"A total piece of shit!"
       --Sharon H. Devinney,
          Cyberspace Surfer

  Cheney To Star in Sequel To "Snow Dogs"

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has no plans to run for "leading man" of the country, but has agreed to star in the movie sequel to "Snow Dogs," according to sources with Variety magazine.  In the new film, Cheney's character heads to Siberia with Cuba Gooding Jr. and a team of Siberian Huskies to search for Saddam Hussein's missing weapons of mass destruction.  Along the way, he falls in love with a pretty eskimo girl, who convinces him of the evils of Halliburton.  By the end of the film, Cheney's character reportedly will evolve into an environment-loving animal rights activist who prefers the old Iraq to the new Iraq and who develops a fetish for love-making in an unheated igloo...

Gore Elected President of Iraq

In a shocking development, former Vice President Al Gore was elected president of the new Iraq over the weekend, after millions of Iraqis wrote in his name on the ballots in an unprecedented display of solitude.  When informed of his victory, Gore let out a loud, effeminate sigh and remarked in his gentle Tennessee drawl, "Now ya see what happens when every vote counts?" 

Dan Rather Mulls Offer To Read News on Subway After Retirement

CBS news anchor Dan Rather apparently means business when he says that his impending retirement won't prevent him from reading the news in the future.  Sources close to CBS say that Rather has been approached with a lucrative offer to read the news on the New York subway every morning beginning in May.  There won't be any seven-figure salary attached to this position, but insiders say that in exchange for his services Rather may be given dozens of coupons to Jack's Deli on 41st Street...

Snubbed By Academy, Moore and Gibson To Team Up On "The Passion of Food"

Mel Gibson and Michael Moore finally have something in common: both of their hit movies were snubbed by The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for this year's Oscar nominations.  However, instead of stewing over the snub, Gibson and Moore have decided to merge their creative forces by co-producing a new epic: The Passion of Food, which should be coming to theaters around Thanksgiving...

Mad French Goat Defies Chirac, Heads To Iraq To Fight

 A French goat reportedly suffering from Mad Cow's Disease -- which is interesting, considering he's a goat -- has allegedly defied orders from French President Jacques Chirac and headed off to Iraq to fight the insurgents alongside coalition forces.  Chirac said that when the goat is returned to French custody, the consequences will be severe.  "I weel make a reel man out of heem," said Chirac, a glint in his eye...

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