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This Week's BlogTopic: If We Believe In Freedom of Religion, What's The Problem With Christmas?

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September 11, 2001

What the Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:


"... a cutthroat look at current issues... The writing is clever and worth checking out."
               --NBCi 


"Political Site of the Day!"
               --Aboutpolitics.com


"A total piece of shit!"
       --Sharon H. Devinney,
          Cyberspace Surfer

  UN Traces Quake To Mechanical Bull In Crawford, Texas

Geologists with the United Nations (yes, there is a Geology department at the UN) have determined that the initial tremors associated with the earthquake that triggered the devastating tsunamis in the Indian Ocean were traced to a mechanical bull in a saloon near Crawford, Texas.  The discovery, say UN geologists, proves that the tsunami was the fault of U.S. President George W. Bush, as originally thought.  Said UN spokesman Jacques Strapp, "Mechanical bool?  Crawfair, Texas?  Air-thquake?  Devastation?  Boosh?  You draw your own conclusions..." 

Two Months After Election, Congressional Democrats Still Making Asses Out Of Themselves

A small but vocal minority of congressional Democrats tried on Thursday to block the certification of last November's election results, citing the familiar "voter irregularities" theory as to why President Bush won Ohio by 3 percent or 118,000 votes.  The move, led by California Senator Barbara Boxer, managed to delay Bush's official re-election by a couple hours while the rest of Congress was forced to "debate" the issue.  Later, Boxer admitted her intent was never to try and overturn the results of the election, which Bush won by 3.5 million votes nationally, but instead create a diversion for her colleagues in congress, who were "bummed out" and didn't feel like going back to work after an "awesome" Christmas vacation...

2005 Off To A Rocky Start: Paris Hilton Still In The News

The new year is officially off to a bad start, observers said today, as reports surfaced that Paris Hilton is still very much in the news.  "No sooner had Guy Lombardo finished serenading us with Auld Lang Syne when boom -- there was Paris, popping up on some E! cable special on ditzy heiresses or something like that," said an observer named Doug, who said that one of his New Year's resolutions was to stop checking out Paris's provocative photos in all the tabloid magazines he sees in grocery stores. Another observer, named Jim, echoed those complaints.  "Hell, every newspaper in the country ran those 'out with the old, in with the new' columns for New Year's, and every last one of em' had Paris near the top of the "out" list.  So who are they giving front page news to here in the first week of 05?  Of course!  Paris... that horny slut!"   Another observer, named Bill, had a novel idea about how to take care of the world's Paris crisis: "Set her up on a blind date with Kobe," suggested Bill...

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