See Span Run
AN EQUAL
OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER
August 13 - August 27, 2004
This Week's Headline You Might Have Missed:
John Kerry Said He Would Have Invaded Iraq Anyhow, Despite No WMDs
BRAND NEW!!! The Most Irrelevant Figure(s) or Event(s) for August
ALSO...
Al Lewis: The Latest Cloning Experiment Gone A Wry!
The Most Irrelevant Figure(s) for 2003!!!
LAST WEEK:
"Seattle
Teacher, Ex-Lover Get OK To Star In Local Production of 'Grease'"
LAST 
YEAR:
"Singer
To Run For CA Gov.; Sets Up Campaign Headquarters in Public
Restroom"
FOUR YEARS AGO:
"GOP Hit With Late Fee For Failure To Return Minorities After Convention"
The 100 Most Irrelevant Figures of the 20th Century
Got Something
To SAY? Say it
HERE
September 11, 2001
What the
Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:
"... a cutthroat look at current issues... The writing is clever and
worth checking out."
--NBCi
"Political Site of the Day!"
--Aboutpolitics.com
"A total piece of shit!"
--Sharon H. Devinney,
Cyberspace Surfer
Steve Mitty, two-time winner of Karaoke Night at an Atlanta bar called Buster's, will be performing at the Republican National Convention in New York City at the end of this month, party officials announced today. Mitty, who rose to extremely limited local fame by winning two karaoke contests thanks to a particularly heart-felt rendition of Jimmy Buffett's classic song "Changes in Latitude," will headline a starless-studded lineup at the GOP shindig, which will also feature Mary Simmons of Decatur, Illinois, who briefly sang in her church's choir, and Henry Davis of Amarillo, Texas, who sings frequently in the shower...
Springsteen Considering Registering To Vote
Rocker Bruce Springsteen, set to embark on his big Vote to Change tour designed to convince people to vote against President Bush in the November election, is said to be strongly considering registering to vote himself. "I'd like to think my music rises above partisan politics," said The Boss in a statement, "but John Kerry embodies so much of what I believe in..." When asked for examples of how Kerry embodies so much of what he believes in, Springsteen began strumming a dark, brooding song on his acoustic guitar and singing unfinished lyrics to a new song: "Well, dot com didn't last... Time to load up the truck... Headin' across Highway 51... Thinkin to myself, 'What the..." Springsteen paused and said, "See, now if Kerry was president, I could have finished that sentence without the FBI coming in and confiscating my tapes..."
Kerry's Wife Trying To Keep A Low Profile
- See Campaign 2004
Seattle Teacher Shuns Ex-Lover; Claims He's "Too Old"
Convicted
sex offender Mary Kay Letourneau, the former Seattle school
teacher recently released from prison, was reunited with her former
victim/lover, Vili Fualaau, last week after a judge lifted a
restraining order on her. However, after taking one look at
Fualaau, now 21, Letourneau reportedly
sniffed,
"I'm totally over him now. He's gotten so old since the
last time I saw him..." Fualaau was reportedly crushed
initially by Letourneau's rejection, but then fired back a jibe of
his own: "At least I'm not going through fucking
menopause..."
Dick Fitzgerald Honda
Just Ask For Dick!
Sodee Pretzel Rods
They're
Straight Delicious!
If You See An Opening, Go For It!
At
Lenscrafters
We Can't Guarantee
Miracles
The Eddie & the Cruisers of Comedy!
Martha is
Back!
Weekdays at 4 on
The Prison Channel
Oliver Stone:
The True Story
Coming to Theaters
Sept. 3
