See Span Run

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November 28 - December 5, 2003 

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September 11, 2001

 What the Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:


"... a cutthroat look at current issues... The writing is clever and worth checking out."
               --NBCi 


"Political Site of the Day!"
               --Aboutpolitics.com


"A total piece of shit!"
       --Sharon H. Devinney,
          Cyberspace Surfer

Straight "Doggy-Style" Activists Protest Omission From Macy's  Parade 

The political activist group HW-LIDS (Heteros Who Like It Doggy Style) continues to stage protests in Times Square this weekend after being banned from participating in the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.  About 16 heterosexual couples lined the streets, chanting, "Ruff, Ruff, Bow, Wow, Macy's-Let-Us-March-NOW!"   To drive home their point, they all wore canine masks and stood along the street in pairs, with the men behind the women.  One of the organizers of the protest, Huck Hound, said the rally is designed to raise awareness.  "America is supposed to be the Land of the Free," he said.  "So why are people -- straight people, for cryin' out loud -- prohibited from joining in this American tradition just because they like to do it 'doggy style'?"  A spokesman for Macy's said the parade is a family event where sexual preferences have no place... Go figure...

Dems Accuse Bush of "Undercooking" Turkey

President Bush's surprise visit to American troops in Iraq on Thanksgiving is not going over well with some Democrats in Congress.  "Look at that turkey!" groused Senator Edward Kennedy (D-Mass), presumably referring to the main entree Bush helped serve to soldiers on Thursday.  "Ah, clearly that bird is not cooked thoroughly, ah, exposing our brave men and women to possible, ah, salmonella infection."  Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle was more concerned about the events leading up to the dinner:  "Where did the president get the turkey and when?  Did he shoot it with one of his Texas rifles?  How does he think the turkey feels about all this???"  Former First Lady and Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, whose own visit to troops in Afghanistan for Thanksgiving was upstaged by the President's dramatic Baghdad trip, forced a smile when asked about the President's visit.  "On a day like Thanksgiving, it is important for us all to put aside our disagreements and remember the men and women who are putting their lives on the line for us each and every day," she said, before walking away, grumbling, "The bastard - stealing my thunder!!!"  

Mother of Jackson Accuser Wins Parent of the Year Award

The mother of the 12-year-old cancer victim accusing Michael Jackson of child molestation has been unanimously named 2003 Parent of the Year, by a group of ACLU attorneys.  The mother, whose name is not known to the public, won 72 out of 95 first place votes to snag the award, given out each year to the parent who "illustrates the best judgment in facilitating friendships between young children and strange middle-aged men," a cornerstone of ACLU  philosophy.  The mother, who is of course now very concerned about the nature of Jackson's friendship with her son, didn't seem to think much of it when she gave the boy the green light to sleep over at Jackson's twisted Neverland ranch, even after Jackson had already paid millions of dollars in hush money to another boy who accused him of sexual misconduct.  After receiving the award, the mother released a statement on ACLU letterhead, saying, "I'm pleased to be given this honor, and would like to take this opportunity to announce that my 14-year-old daughter will be sleeping over at Roman Polanski's European mansion next summer as well."  The Polanski sleepover may put the mother in contention to win back-to-back awards next year...