See Span Run

AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER
December 12 - December 19, 2002

• THEY'RE BAAAACK!!!  The Ghosts of Christmas Past Reunite on The Christmas Album From Hell!!! 

• BRAND NEW!!!  The Most Irrelevant Figure of November!!!

• Saddam Hussein: The Latest Cloning Experiment Gone A Wry!!!

• LAST WEEK: "Sen. Clinton Loses in Wrestling Semis"

• LAST YEAR:  "Another American Taliban Captured"

• Check it Out -- The Eddie and the Cruisers of Comedy!

• The 100 Most Irrelevant Figures of the 20th Century

• Send Feedback
  

September 11, 2001

What the Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:


"... a cutthroat look at current issues... The writing is clever and worth checking out."
               --NBCi 


"Political Site of the Day!"
               --Aboutpolitics.com


"A total piece of shit!"
       --Sharon H. Devinney,
          Cyberspace Surfer

Nearly Two Decades Later, Band Aid  Realizes Africa Doesn't Celebrate X-mas Anyhow 

Eighteen years after the release of their poignant charity song "Do They Know It's Christmas?" raised millions of dollars for starving children in Africa, members of the original super group Band Aid now acknowledge that most people in Africa celebrate Quanza and probably could care less if it was Christmas time.  "Perhaps we miscalculated," said Band Aid organizer Bob Geldof, formerly of the Boomtown Rats.  Added U2's Bono: "We should have probably known something was up when we performed the song for a tiny African village and they all looked at us with blank stares, like we were crazy or something."  Still, many artists have no regrets about doing the song.  Said former Culture Club singer Boy George:  "It (the recording session) gave me an opportunity to try on a new dress."  Wistfully added former Duran Duran heartthrob Simon Le Bon:  "Without that record, there might not be as much clamoring for a Duran Duran reunion..."  

Embattled Sen. Trent Lott Denies His Broker is Merryl Lynch

Confederate Senator Trent Lott was under fire again today, after a story in  the Washington Post linked him to an investment broker by the name of Merryl Lynch. Lott steadfastly denies he has a broker with that name, but left himself open for questioning when he said, "Even if my broker's last name was 'Lynch' it doesn't mean that he would advocate that kind of punishment."  The Rev. Jessie Jackson, meanwhile, has called for Lott's testicles to be handed over on a platter.  What the Reverend plans to do with those testicles is unclear... 

New Evidence Suggests Hans Blix Was Notorious Nazi Guard Rosey Palms 

Story at 11...