See Span Run

AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER
September 19 -26, 2002

• A BRAND NEW Cloning Experiment Gone A Wry!!!

• Also: The Most Irrelevant Figure for August! 

• LAST WEEK: "Cheney Still Being Held in Secure, Undisrobed Location"

• LAST YEAR:  "Singer Al Jarreau Arrested on Mistaken Identity Charge"

• Check it Out -- The Eddie and the Cruisers of Comedy!

• The 100 Most Irrelevant Figures of the 20th Century

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September 11, 2001

What the Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:


"... a cutthroat look at current issues... The writing is clever and worth checking out."
               --NBCi 


"Political Site of the Day!"
               --Aboutpolitics.com


"A total piece of shit!"
       --Sharon H. Devinney,
          Cyberspace Surfer

FBI Seeks Man Whom "Buffalo Six" Allegedly "Blocked For"  

The FBI is leading a global manhunt for a suspect said to be the "lead runner" for the alleged terrorist cell now known as "The Buffalo Six."  FBI spokesman Efrem Zimbalist Jr. said, "We believe the suspect is currently on the run, based on surveillance videotape we have of him running through airports with Arnold Palmer, not to mention thousands of hours of CNN footage him participating in a certain double-murder trial we all know too well."  It is said that the suspect, whose name has not yet been released, is either hiding in Yemen or somewhere in a voting booth in Florida with former major leaguer Pedro Guerrero...

Powell, Annan Reportedly Amused At Weapons Inspectors Plan To Dress Like Inspector Clouseau 

U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell and United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan reportedly were amused by the UN Security Council's latest strategy for conducting weapons inspections in Iraq.  When France Prime Minister Pepe LePew enthusiastically outlined a scenario in which UN inspectors would storm into Iraq dressed like the famous Pink Panther character Inspector Clouseau, Powell and Annan both burst into giggles.  LePew, meanwhile, was not amused.  "Wee are ser-ee-oss!   Do not mock oss!" he allegedly screamed into the phone while Powell and Annan tried in vain to contain their laughter.  The laughter heard in UN chambers was nothing, however, compared to the laughter heard in Saddam Hussein's palace (See Cloning Experiments Gone A Wry For More)... 

Heart Palpitations in Children On The Rise

Story at 11...