See Span Run

AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER
August 29 - September 5, 2002

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September 11, 2001

What the Critics Are Saying About See Span Run:


"... a cutthroat look at current issues... The writing is clever and worth checking out."
               --NBCi 


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"A total piece of shit!"
       --Sharon H. Devinney,
          Cyberspace Surfer

Biker Blames Accident On Dog's Ass 

A motorcycle gang member charged with reckless driving after causing a multi-vehicle accident last week on the San Diego Freeway claims a dog's ass was the reason he lost control of his bike and crashed.  C.C. Ryder, 54, of Los Angeles says he was riding along the freeway at "about 60 miles-per-hour" when a miniature collie suddenly leaped onto his handle bars and stuck its ass in Ryder's face, causing him to swurve and, ultimately, crash into a car in the lane next to him.  That collision triggered a chain reaction, with more than 11 vehicles piling into one another, bringing rush hour traffic to a standstill.  Ryder insists the accident wasn't his fault.  "Hey, man," he said.  "What would you do if a dog suddenly jumped on your handle bars and stuck its ass in your face, huh?"  The dog, 4-year-old Lacie, was not injured in the crash and refused comment...

Doctors Perform Successful Open-Case Pillow Surgery

Doctors in Iran have performed the first-ever "open case" surgery on two pillows suffering from life-threatening moth bites, the Journal of Peculiar Surgery (JOPS) reported in its latest edition.  The 2-hour procedure was undertaken at Tehran General Hospital in late June.  According to the article, the surgeons, Dr. al Open and Dr. al Close, were summoned to perform the procedure after two pillows were brought to the hospital after being torn apart by hungry moths.  al Open and al Close issued a joint statement, which said:  "We're really pleased the procedure went well, and we're both looking forward to a comfortable night's sleep -- in separate beds, of course." 

which means: "We're really pleased the procedure went well, and we're both looking forward to a comfortable night's sleep -- in separate beds, of course." 

Incontinence A Big Problem in East Asia 

Story at 11...