Campaign 2000:

RACE
for the
CURE

January 13, 2000

Gore Vows to Pressure Military to Recruit Flaming Queens, Not Just Admit "Closet Cases"

Vice President Al Gore stepped up the pressure on his presidential opponents when he announced that "closet homosexuals" are not the only ones who would benefit when he eliminates the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy currently used by the U.S. military.  "This is the 21st century," barked Gore to a somber-looking group of ROTC students at the Virginia Military Institute.  "We should not only allow homosexuals to openly serve in our armed forces, as they have secretly done for centuries already; we should also actively recruit flaming, extravagant, promiscuous queens for posts throughout the military."  Gore did not rule out the possibility he might nominate drag queen RuPaul as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.  Immediately after the speech, several of Gore's campaign staff went and committed suicide. 

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